In my readings and studyings here lately, there are two things that seem to rear their heads in my awareness while I am reflecting on my journey more than anything else:
I will tackle both and best explain what they are in the context of self growth, how they affect you and how you can deal with both.
When I speak of acceptance, I mean acceptance of you of yourself.
This brings up the subject of negative self talk and its perils. Do you talk negatively to yourself? Do you even pay attention to yourself and your inner dialogue to know?
I have pretty much knocked out the negative self talk out of my existence in most situations. I am aware enough of my inner dialogue to catch myself if I do stray from a path of positivity.
What I am working on now is the acceptance of not being perfect and not having to be.
I can remember trying to learn how to type to get faster and absolutely locking up and doing nothing while the timer ran out because I so wanted to be perfect at it, I would not type at all.
Anything like that ever happen to you?
There is no reason to be perfect. No-one else is. To be honest, you can’t be perfect. You can only be in a state of self-growth and be better than you were the day before.
And trying to be perfect for anyone and everyone else is also a tiring journey as everyone wants different things.
So why bother?
Working on yourself is the only logical, worthy and pertinent action to take. Stick to what you can control. You.
I find that I while I do think in a positive sense, I am still judging my imperfections as who I am and not on something I just need to work on, whatever that may be.
So it’s like that proverbial elephant I am not supposed to be thinking about.
If you think about NOT thinking about that elephant, what exactly are you thinking about?
Of course: the elephant.
Dwelling on what you feel you are not-loved, financially independent, healthy, for example-while trying not being that thing is not going to help you to not be that thing.
Be the thing in your heart and your head and feel that. Feel loved, wealthy or healthy and works towards it being accepting and forgiving of yourself that perfection is not a worthwhile goal.
Happiness is the goal here. Within yourself. You won’t find it outside of yourself to be happy, but the other way around.
Speaking of happiness, this brings me to the next order of business…
Do you feel you must have this or that to be what you want and to have happiness?
You must know that once you reach that possession, you will then be focusing on something else to bring you happiness.
Attachments is not the answer.
I will be honest that the attachments approach is what I have been taking.
It has gotten me absolutely nowhere.
You can read the words over and over again from twenty different sources before it (hopefully) sinks in. Wanting or having things outside of yourself won’t make you happier over the long term.
In the latest book I am reading which is Thresholds of the Mind by Bill Harris, he says you should think of things you want to acquire not as attachments, but preferences.
Bill says, that if you only ‘prefer’ them, then the loss or not acquiring them will not be sad to you.
It may sound silly, but your brain will make sense of this. Not overnight will you adapt this stance, but it will.
Bill Harris is the creator of the Holosync experience of which I am having great results with in my journey of self awareness, by the way.
I wrote a series of posts on him as his writings resonated with me deeply. The first post of that series is here, New Help for the New Year.
Moving along, attachments don’t just have to be material, tangible things. They can be an attachment to someone’s love, for instance. In that you don’t feel loved without someone loving you.
We are speaking of someone outside of your family and pets as they should love you unconditionally.
We can certainly learn a lot from our pets in that respect. Love for ourselves AND others.
One thing I have also learned in my journey is that instant gratification is not a thing when it comes to self growth. Depending on where you started, your ‘preferences’ may be eluding at first.
Being aware and being persistent is very relevant here. To accept and be free of attachments is an endeavor you must take seriously and be conscious of at all times.
Essentially, it means thinking on your own and not letting your inner dialogues take charge of your life. For some this may not be an easy task at first. But it is something you need to do to be happy.
If you want to be somebody else, change your mind. Truer words were never spoken. Or sang even. It was the Sister Hazel who sang that.
So I hope this was enlightening for some humans out there and I hope that they can start the journey to being happy-or happier-by accepting themselves and not being attached to outcomes or things or states in their lives.
Sharing is encouraged and I would love comments of your thoughts. Don’t be shy. I don’t judge. I help.