Although feelings are the most important thing to consider when it comes to your status in the Universe and with God, thoughts are most important on how you get to those confident feelings. The number one place to start with your thoughts is with your self esteem.
So how do you really feel about yourself?
I borrowed some notes on self esteem from my friends at Learning-mind.com (at least I think we are…I am sure we are) and decided to expound on them a bit.
The first thing to note is that our words will tell you a lot about what you feel about yourself. Are you positive or negative? Do you focus on what could be or problems and mistakes?
So let’s look at some phrases you may be saying out loud or to yourself that may be damaging you and your life, i.e. your self esteem, shall we?
- I don’t like the way I look. It is true that society has set up some misguided notions of how we all should look. The truth is we all are unique and we should not be comparing ourselves to others. Think about it: how do these people who make these commercials and billboards and such know anything about you? So why should they decide how you look?
- I am not good enough/worth it. This has got to be one of the biggest problems humans have. Ask yourself why. Why are you not worth it? Why are you not good enough? Good enough for what ? Are you comparing yourself? It would be good here to visualize confidence and worthiness in your life and with what you do and realize that you mean something and that you would be missed if you were gone. And do not take anyone else’s opinion. They probably have the same problems you do(probably worse if throwing this opinion at you) and are trying to make you not feel worthy to make themselves feel better. It happens. Try sitting down and listing what people value you for and then make yourself keep that in mind always.
- I can’t/this is impossible. Saying either of these things is a sure-fire way to shun yourself from success. Do you think athletes or entrepreneurs are saying this to themselves ever? No, they either break whatever they are doing into smaller projects or visualizing their task as complete and getting it done. You can too. Everyone can.
- I’m sorry. I hear this all the time. Humans apologizing for no good reason except for they do not value themselves enough. You do not owe anybody an apology for being the same place they are or any other situation. Stop apologizing. An ‘excuse me’ works just fine and will give the other human a better impression of you. Start right now.
I think these are the biggest issues humans have nowadays with self esteem. And if any of these listed are in your vocabulary, they should be terminated immediately.
I shouldn’t say that. It will take time to delete those phrases from your life, but it will be worth it and your should start today.
Actually, working on your self esteem should start with your childhood. But this wouldn’t be your job, but your parents.
If you are a parent, things you should be doing are listed below
- Build their self confidence by showing that you trust them.
- Listen to them if they want to tell you something. It will show that you care.
- Do not criticize you children. Help them to find new solutions if they make mistakes.
If you are not encouraging your children and talking to them, they will suffer. Also making sure they have a regular sleeping regimen will help give them the best brain development possible.
Most of all, let them make their own mistakes by not being ‘helicopter parents’.
All these points will help you be a better human or help you to raise a better one. Science doesn’t lie, and neither do I.