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How resiliency is a key to happiness

I found this meme yesterday and just had to share. It may be the key to our need for resiliency.

Of course these type of memes are all over the internet and sometimes kinda funny. This one struck a cord with me, though.

But not for the reasons you think.

Obviously this meme is supposed to be funny for the reason that it is saying you are a waste of breath.

Not very nice, but still original and kinda humorous. I will give the creator points for that.

It can be said that the creator is actually feeling that way and trying to get other people to feel the same way they do, but I digress…

Being one who is not a human acting like the sheeple who is programmed by our society to think as all else think, I saw this meme as an invitation.

A kind of rude invitation, but if you ever watched the show House, you would understand its perfectness.

By the way, where anyone else might use the acronym ‘LOL’ when sharing this statement/meme, I use ‘SALTS’…

Meaning ‘Smiled A Little, Then Stopped’.

My little way of standing out from the pack, with a little rebellious undertone to it. But that is how I shared this post. SALTS.

You like? I cannot remember where I saw it, but it fits me so well, and I use it frequently in my social media ramblings…my gratitude for the sarcastic human who thought of it.

But back to the meme, I don’t see this as an insult but an invitation to work on myself.  For myself.

Resiliency

How could I do that? well, if you hadn’t guessed from the post title, resiliency…

Resiliency is, by definition,able to withstand or recover quickly from difficult conditions.

I would take that one step further and say able to be proactive and change or adapt before a situation ‘takes’ hold of us.

Fearlessly flowing through life knowing that they got this…

There was a book written called Survivor Personality: Why Some People Are Stronger, Smarter, and More Skillful atHandling Life’s Difficulties…and How You Can Be, Too which would be a must read.

I have added it to my reading list.

The doctor who authored the book had studied resiliency his professional life by interviewing humans who had been afflicted with horrendous misfortune and how they dealt with their turmoils.

He discovered that people can learn resiliency but that it cannot be taught.

Kinda interesting…

New thinking

What I find is that resilient people (namely myself) are not driven by the conventional rules society has projected onto us. They(I) look to find different ways to deal.

They deal with each situation with a flexible approach that allows them to choose the most resourceful way to be or behave in each situation.

I will take that one step further and say that they respond to the world based on outcomes and situations they desire. They have the self confidence to know what they want and go after it.

self confidence OYL

You can even say that they do not have or do not listen to that inner voice telling them the point of view or action to take in a situation. Their inner automatic response system.

Which makes them truly free to discover deeper their inner happiness.

These resilient people will be both kind and selfish, deceptive and honest, open and guarded. But for good reason: they are shaping their own lives to their liking.

Holosync and Thresholds

I am now reading Thresholds of the Mind by Bill Harris, founder of Holosync and Centerpointe which gave me the book for free with the purchase of their Holosync program which I highly recommend.

The book name above in green is a link if you do not wish to partake in Holosync and just want to read the book.

Moving along, the book gave me a lot of the fodder for this post. There were breakthroughs that occurred reading the chapters in the book and I am only about halfway through.

I am looking forward to more.

That and an unexpected meeting with an old friend with some simple observations and actions he took to broaden his horizons…

Everything happens for a reason, right?

soul OYL

Back to our topic.

I, for whatever grateful reason, am a resilient human. I still follow the rules I need to so as not stand out to the point of losing jobs and getting arrested, but a free thinker just the same.

As matter of fact, I am almost half a century old and have never been arrested or suspected of anything. Yeay, me.

But I can tell that I think differently than the people around me.

So to say that you have to be a bad person to be resilient is just not true.  Just a bit rebellious.

So another reason why resiliency is so awesome? Less resistance.

When you are a free thinker, you have mastered how to lessen resistance. I mean, resistance is the source of all discomfort in our lives.

thinker OYL

Resistance would be wanting to do something outside of your usual ways, but your past beliefs you have grown up with tries to curtail your acting on these new ways.

Inner conflict. That’s resistance.

Resistance is also trying to control something you don’t have and never will have control over.

See , resilience is not controlling a situation but evaluating and taking the course of action with the least consequences. But you are in control of the situation as you are seeing the situation.

Meaning you are in control because you are not acting using the rules and beliefs you grew up with. Your automatic response system. You are THINKING!

Ain’t that awesome?

So if you just look at an unpleasant situation as just what it is, you can move forward and master it. Just notice it. Don’t put any meaning to it, just watch. Like a curious baby with a new toy.

You notice I said don’t put any ‘meaning’ to it. Whatever ‘meaning’ you attach to this whatever is what you have assigned to it. Meaning like good, bad, awful, sexy, whatever…

And you don’t have to follow anybody else’s lead. This is your world, too. You can do things the way you want.

But in this way, you are controlling your life. You are creating your heaven. You are winning life in that you are creating it and not just letting it happen to you.

happy girl

That is being resilient.

As I said earlier from the doctor’s observations, resiliency cannot be taught but can be learned, so I don’t wanna just beat a dead horse here.

But I want to make you aware.

That is how my breakthroughs happen. Maybe everybody’s breakthroughs happen that way. Through awareness.

So I hope that I have passed on some incredibly enlightening advice to all reading this. Let me know in comments below. Plus you can share for the sake of helping others through some not so ideal times.

Resiliency. It is how life is supposed to be lived. Thinking. For yourself and by yourself.

20 thoughts on “How resiliency is a key to happiness”

  1. I like this page. It is something that most everyone can use some work on. One of the things I did not like however was the headings looked the same as the rest of the text so it was a little more difficult to realize the slight change in topic. Over all though, good research and great information.

    1. Hmm, thank you for that constructive criticism. That would be an easy fix. sometimes I get so involved in my thoughts that I forget that kind of stuff…Thank you for coming by!!

  2. Awesome post… I have read the Bill Harris book that you referenced and found it to be a real eye opener.

    Thanks

    1. You are very welcome, Kevin. Not finished with it yet, but get to it whenever I can. thank you for stopping by and thanks for the kind words!!

  3. I think the meme perhaps meant “you should not pollute air”? Not as demeaning to humans as “you’re a waste of breath.” Oh, well. Who knows about trees. But I digress.

    Yes, resiliency can be taught. I think entrepreneurs, and especially technical entrepreneurs, especially working in environment that support their resiliency, such as technology incubators are a perfect example. There you have people who have been taught to bounce back. Every time. Sure, there’s churn, but overall, the system is working. Look at Boston’s route 128, or Silicone Valley. I am not sure if they think of their journey as reaching “thresholds of the mind” but I think they are. Someone has to be at the head of a unicorn company. And that must be a new threshold. I guess I am more practical this way than abstract. Thanks for the article

    1. Ah, some different opinions. I love it!! We can all agree to disagree, I suppose. The cannot be taught was brought to us by a doctor, but I think I can agree with you on that as well. At least partly. Meaning some humans can be taught relience if open to it. thank you for your comments, Vanessa.

  4. Very interesting post. I think thats really neat…that resiliency can’t be taught but can be learnt. If you think about it then you can understand that; you can’t teach someone to be resilient if they aren’t already because it’s something they have to do on their own, they will need to figure out how to think for themselves and differently than the rest to be able to handle situations. You’re right in saying that you don’t have to be a bad person and break the law to be resilient, but just a bit “different” in your ways.

  5. Wonderful piece it is. SALT is what I do a lot more often than not :)……resiliency is indeed an important trait but possessed by a handful and these are those who achieve peace through this or at least make other feels so.
    Keep writing and we will keep visiting, it’s always good to dig deep at times.
    Cheers,
    http://audiowavegeek.com/117-2

  6. Brent I think stepping outside the box is key to resolving most issues. I was raised a certain way. Yes I was blessed to have family that love me and wanted to protect me. But I was never normal. I never fit in with society and was never taught skills to deal with the world. An extremely shy introvert and my family had no idea what I needed. I didn’t even know. So I had to find and discover ways to help me navigate life better. It helped me to think differently and be self-reliant. Some people turn to bad addictions to cope with their problems. That type of behaviour went against my values so I was never the addict. Instead I just looked for different ways to deal with problems. I think it depends on the person. Different factors contribute to them learning to be resilient. For me, it was more like I was pushed into a corner and the only way out was to do what I do best. That is think outside the box.

    1. Oh, the proverbial box. Gotta love that box. That box is what stops so many humans be what they should be. the box is what keeps humans from being happy. I am so glad I found my way outta that box. Now if I can just crush it and teach all others humans to do the same. Thanks Lorenza, you are super awesome. As I told you, I am currently going through some issues that if I just stood my ground years ago, I wouldn’t be going through now. but I know I will come out of it stronger than ever. My staying outside of the box is being a witness…

      Cheers. And thank you for your comments.

      1. I’m sure you’ll be fine Brent. Everything in life teaches us something. You will definitely be stronger for it. This life can never be problem free. If it was then that’s a sign we’re dead. I too wish that everyone can just follow my advice, because I lived through it. But some people aren’t ready to change. I remember loving being miserable. There’s a comfortableness about it. I hated and loved it. I got to be oblivious and curl up with my sadness. Really weird. I saw one day how Buffy my dog fought to stay alive and that was one of the defining moments that made me decide to fight for my own life too. Goodluck with everything. Maybe you can share it with us when you get through it. 🙂

  7. Thanks for sharing Brent. I feel that I am resilient as well.
    I remember when I did B2B sales, I sucked…big time. One day, I went to the office in the morning for our daily meeting. One of the senior sales guys looked at me and said, “You’re like one of those kids that get back up every time the bully punches you down.” Whether he meant that in a good way, I don’t know. But I do know is that it gave me courage continue on.

    1. Thanks, Seth. I would take it as a compliment. And yes, I am thinking you are pretty darn resilient as well. Thanks again for your thoughts.

  8. I love that meme!! Hahahaha. I saw it sometime ago and it’s hilarious!

    I have to read the book you recommended so I added it to my list of books to read. 🙂

    Thanks for sharing this!

    1. That was my first time seeing but I knew when I saw it there was a post in there somewhere. I hope you enjoy the book and I thank you again for your comments.

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